KSFA PHOTOS
Yeah, it’s so bad we have to dedicate an entire write-up, complete with extensive paragraphs and a breakdown into sub-points, to explain ourselves.
Part 1: Photography
Honestly, we have no clue what we’re doing. All of us use $40 phones, ergo taking pictures with them doesn’t work.
We ended up buying a $30 camera designed for “children and [the inept]”. It already seems like it’s doing bizarre things, so stay tuned for that outcome. If it becomes problematic, we may get another identical camera because we absolutely refuse to learn from our missteps. Plus, due to being [the inept], it’s the only thing we can operate.
Part 2: Images
Right now, we’re ballparking one acceptable photo out of every dozen we take. We’re pretty proud of this ratio.
What you’ll see is the cream of the crop. Some we’ve made as clear as possible in an effort for you to read measurements (see “Part 3-C: Sacred Ruler” section). Some are untouched. Some have, well…
We’ve noticed people do things to their pictures to make themselves look less ugly than what they really are. Deciding to use this to our advantage, CLK has done the same. It didn’t go quite as expected, likely because we don’t know how to make things pretty.
Nevertheless, we decided to use the built-in basic filtration system in our photo device. It makes things lighter and darker, more colorful, and so on. We’ve added a few of these images to spice up the usual pics. They won’t be remotely helpful to you.
Part 3: Accessories
Now we’re at the point where the situation is so dire, we need subsections.
Part 3-A: Backgrounds
Most of what you’ll see: throw rugs. We have other stuff too, but by default, throw rugs were the way to go. The reason is because it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a single rug as a background. Then we couldn’t get up from the floor without intense struggle. So we decided to stay there. Extensively. This provided us with the opportunity to slither around and use other rugs as backgrounds.
(We won’t discuss what it was like to stand up from this adventure. It has no bearing on this subsection, and HIPAA protects us from anyone who feels otherwise.)
Part 3-B: Props
We did put in a disclaimer about photo props not being included with purchases. This is because most people will have a strong desire to acquire our old and broken aimless antiques that otherwise would have ended up in a dumpster.
Part 3-C: Sacred Ruler
Due to no rules, no patterns, there isn’t a uniform measurement for products. However, we tried to demonstrate some examples.
For measuring in our photos, we’ve elected to use an old skirt ruler. It is stained, in poor shape, not photogenic, and serves minimal purpose, which is exactly how we describe ourselves. It’s a microcosm for CLK, and therefore part of the crew. Good luck trying to read the numbers—we’re pulling for you!
