Welcome to Knot-Sew-Fine Arts, a division of CLK. We specialize in handmade products and acronyms, which is why we’re calling Knot-Sew-Fine Arts “KSFA” from this point forward.
The KSFA division of CLK employs a vast amount of felt, stuffing, thread, dead leeches, and broken glass. This sounds scary, but only because it’s worded in a weird way. Also, for us, every day is Halloween, so we have a lot of spooky things we’ll force upon you. Again, this sounds scary, but only because of inappropriate wording.
Ready to find out more? Read on for additional poor word choices.
HISTORY
During forced electrical sewing class as a child, CLK was told, “It’s okay, not everyone can sew.” This was the pivotal moment that eventually guided us to KSFA.
Nose to the spool, CLK began protest sewing—not the way it was taught, but by hand. There were no rules, no patterns. It began with simple ideas and progressed into hardcore dedication filled with self-education and mistakin’. Still, no rules, no patterns. Everything just cut and made to work.
Ultimately, it was decided upon to do things on a larger scale. Eventually, embroidery and other arts got thrown into the mix. Now we’re at where we’re at, and we’ll continue with new ideas. But what we won’t do is change the original formula:
No rules, no patterns.
WHAT TO EXPECT
CLK got some s’plainin’ to do. We want you to know what’s in store for you when you look at the stored items in the KSFA Store.
Types of Products
For the most part, KSFA features one-of-a-kind (OOAK) products. They're not meant as toys, and are only appropriate for responsible tweens, teens, adults, and senior citizens.
Some have intentionally been made "dirty" due to the nature of the art, or have other personal handcrafted details particular to the concept. This will be noted in respective descriptions.
Products have unique quirks, innovative aspects, and/or charismatic stitching. No two are alike: no rules, no patterns.
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Images depicted may or may not be the item you receive unless specifically noted. If you don’t get the exact model in the photo, you’ll get something similar.
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Soft Sculptures
Soft Sculptures are artistic stuffed animals. Ours are exclusive designs created by CLK.
All described items are hand-sewn since machines are way too complicated. They lack the uniformity that 21st-century folks have come to expect, and that’s the goal.
Randomness
These items are put together by hand. They combine homespun creative CLK processes with manufactured items.
Preemeeum Collection
The OOAKs of OOAKs, these items were created by CLK on a whim. Handmade, they aren’t repeatedly produced. What you see in the photos is what you get.
CLK Seeries
CLK has a few design series available on a limited basis. Some follow the same creation process as the Soft Sculpture description, some follow the Preemeeum Collection, and some follow Randomness.
Product Descriptions
At CLK, we don’t possess the mental capacity to have a personality. Instead, we choose to have many. Because we refuse medication, our Product Descriptions are the end result.
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They ramble and incorporate useless drivel—but only sometimes. Other times, they’re poetic. Potentially they include historic write-ups that have no business being on the site. Perhaps they’re long and fulfilling…
Or maybe they’re short and inadequate.
Regardless, you can fast-forward your eyes to the bullet points if you don’t care to be bothered by illuminating words. We tried to condense the info there. In this regard, we’re also not very good at condensing.
For the descriptions, please feel free to reach out if you have any questions that aren’t already addressed. And even if they already have been addressed, please contact us with them anyway because one of our favorite things to do is repeat ourselves.
And even if they already have been addressed, please contact us with them anyway because one of our favorite things to do is repeat ourselves.
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​Product Photos
Yeah, it’s so bad we have to dedicate an entire write-up, complete with extensive paragraphs and a breakdown into sub-points, to explain ourselves.
Part 1: Photography
Honestly, we have no clue what we’re doing. All of us use $40 phones, ergo taking pictures with them doesn’t work.
We ended up buying a $30 camera designed for “children and [the inept]”. It already seems like it’s doing bizarre things, so stay tuned for that outcome. If it becomes problematic, we may get another identical camera because we absolutely refuse to learn from our missteps. Plus, due to being [the inept], it’s the only thing we can operate.
Part 2: Images
Right now, we’re ballparking one acceptable photo out of every dozen we take. We’re pretty proud of this ratio.
What you’ll see is the cream of the crop. Some we’ve made as clear as possible in an effort for you to read measurements (see “Part 3-C: Sacred Ruler” section). Some are untouched. Some have, well…
We’ve noticed people do things to their pictures to make themselves look less ugly than what they really are. Deciding to use this to our advantage, CLK has done the same. It didn’t go quite as expected, likely because we don’t know how to make things pretty.
Nevertheless, we decided to use the built-in basic filtration system in our photo device. It makes things lighter and darker, more colorful, and so on. We’ve added a few of these images to spice up the usual pics. They won’t be remotely helpful to you.
Part 3: Accessories
Now we’re at the point where the situation is so dire, we need subsections.
Part 3-A: Backgrounds
Most of what you’ll see: throw rugs. We have other stuff too, but by default, throw rugs were the way to go. The reason is because it seemed like a good idea at the time to use a single rug as a background. Then we couldn’t get up from the floor without intense struggle. So we decided to stay there. Extensively. This provided us with the opportunity to slither around and use other rugs as backgrounds.
(We won’t discuss what it was like to stand up from this adventure. It has no bearing on this subsection, and HIPAA protects us from anyone who feels otherwise.)
Part 3-B: Props
We did put in a disclaimer about photo props not being included with purchases. This is because most people will have a strong desire to acquire our old and broken aimless antiques that otherwise would have ended up in a dumpster.
Part 3-C: Sacred Ruler
Due to no rules, no patterns, there isn’t a uniform measurement for products. However, we tried to demonstrate some examples.
For measuring in our photos, we’ve elected to use an old skirt ruler. It is stained, in poor shape, not photogenic, and serves minimal purpose, which is exactly how we describe ourselves. It’s a microcosm for CLK, and therefore part of the crew. Good luck trying to read the numbers—we’re pulling for you!​
